Chuck vs a bad nights sleep
by Just Chuck
Summary: Sometimes dreams do come true, sometime we rather they didn't. Was suppose to be a one shot - however due to a need to work out on something different. The fourth night is now up.
1. Chuck been Tourched!

Chuck vs a bad nights sleep.

A/N I have no idea where this came from except I should not fall asleep watching recorded late night CBC (if there are any Canadians reading, they know what I mean). One shot. Was not going to post it but someone reading it over my shoulder said nobody would get it. I want to prove her at least a little wrong. So no beta, and a little proofread but there will be mistakes, I wrote it after all so therefore there will be lots.

Disclaimer:

I do not own anything in the Chuck Universe, or the other show that will be mentioned later. I make no money from it, and probably never will.

--

Casey was sitting behind a desk, feet up, turning paper into airplanes He had been watching Chuck dressed in a blue pinstripe suit typing away at his computer beside him.

.

"Bartowski, did any one tell you that your buns are well formed."

Chuck turned around "Casey do you mind, I do have work to do. Later I promise. After diner alright?"

Casey gets up and stands behind Chuck

"Dinner is hours away, and those computer simulations will take hours"

Casey turns Chuck around and leans closer, their lips just a fraction of an inch apart "What ever will we do in the meantime"

"AUGGG NOT PRETTY"

Chuck bolts upright, falling out of bed in his panic.

"CHUCK WHAT WRONG" Sarah grabs a knife hidden under her pillow as she heard movement from the hall way.

Chuck leaps over Sarah, knocking her off balance and back into bed and runs out into the hall "Chuckster what's up" and he pushes past Awesome, dripping wet wearing nothing but a towel and locks himself in the bathroom.

Sarah hides a knife and after checking the courtyard for anything unusal walks into the hall to see Ellie knocking on the bathroom door. "Chuck are you ok?"

Ellie turns to Sarah as she approaches and gives a "what's up" look. Sarah just shrugs "not sure, we were asleep then this."

"Chuck, it's me, can I come in" Ellie and Sarah say at the same time.

The door opens and Chuck looks at Awesome, Ellie and when his eye's land on Sarah he grabs her in a bone crunching hug.

Sarah not use to the soon to be famous Bartowski sudden hug attack stands there for a second before she hugs Chuck back.

"It's Ok sweetie, it's alright." she notices that he has been crying.

"Sarah" Chuck croaks out

"Yes Chuck"

"Never let me drink that much while watching a Tourchwood Marathon"

"err Ok Chuck"

Ellie and Awesome roll their eyes and return to their bedroom. After a minute Sarah walks Chuck back to their room.

"WALKER"

Casey jumps through the Morgan door wearing a white t-shirt, black very tight pants held up with wide suspenders and an old style trench coat. He was holding up his antique pistol that just got delivered today for his gun collection.

"NOT PRETTY" – Thud - (Chuck faints)

--

Hope you enjoyed.

Please someone review so I can say I told you so to my co-worker!


	2. Sarah Who?

Disclaimers at the end. It's just the way I like to do them OK!

--

Sarah Walker was running as if her life depended on it. No less than 30 seconds before LA was hit by a totally unexpected earthquake and it put everyone into a total state of panic.

Sara's only thought – Find Chuck!

Sarah pushed her way through the mass of people trying to get out of the Buy More and made it to the nerd herd desk only to find Jeff and Lester scared crapless under the desk. One was holding a collection of homemade DVDs and the other a case of half full beer. Upon hearing Sarah scream they pointed towards the door to the area known as the cage. Looking down she saw Chuck's GPS watch looking like it was electrocuted.

She kicked open the door as she drew her gun "CHUCK WHERE ARE YOU!"

"I'm so sorry Special Agent Sarah Lisa Walker of the United States of America Central Intelligence Agency, The one you call Chuck seems to have eluded both of us for the moment."

Sarah spun around and with gun ready, she aims it directly at…. Emmett?

"Oh Crap, really my dear that will not be necessary. Look into my eyes. See, there is no reason to move is there?"

Sarah could not explain what happened next but she found herself letting Emmett take her weapon which he then threw in the garbage then allowed him to tie her up to the chair Chuck usually sat in when doing repairs.

"Now my dear, tell me where your is-he-fake-or-not boyfriend is?"

Sarah suddenly looked up at Emmett and blinked "What.. .How did I get here? What did you do to me Emmett?"

"Why Agent Walker, or as that waste of flesh Jeff puts it Totally Hot Blonde Momma, don't concern yourself with such little details as who I am. You can call me… your Master for the moment. Now where is the…" An alarm that Sarah never heard before goes off and Emmett looks points a small metal rod at the large test monitor that Chuck uses when he fixes computers. What appears is a image of Casey entering the front doors of the Buy More. Only it looks a little strange. Almost 3D only it appears a bit out of focus. Like the last Superbowl game she and Chuck watched with Ellie and Devin wearing those uncomfortable paper glasses.

"Well well well, what do we have here? John Casey finally decides to grace us with his presence. Excellent maybe he knows where the little lost sheep got too hmmmm. I've spent a long time getting this together since my ship crashed to have your boy toy mess it up. And you my CIA lovely will be the bait to make sure that doesn't happen."

As soon as Emmett goes out the doors, Sarah works on getting loose, but whatever he tied her up with feels like metal and she can't find any place to try and pry it apart.

Looking around she notices that in the there is a strange machine in the corner of the cage starting to glow. As the light gets stronger the earth starts to shake and another earthquake hits. _"They are getting stronger, another one like that and the Buy More will become the Flat More!"_

From the storage room Sarah starts hearing another strange noise and a flashing light appears under the door. In the matter of seconds it stops though, Just as Emmett returns "Well Agent Walker I have to admit your partner is pig headed. When he decides to want to strangle you then it takes 4 of these…" He holds up Casey's tranq gun, "…to finally get him to see reason. No matter, even asleep he will still serve his master."

"Aaaah I see you are admiring my little invention. It has taken me several months to construct this. Not the best design I have ever came up with, but let's face it, Earth is not the place I would come for supplies normally."

"What are you doing Emmett?"

"Why Sarah, you don't mind me calling you Sarah. Of course you don't. You see in about 20 minutes there will be a Vogon Construction fleet flying by and I intend to hitch a ride. However in order to get them to slow down enough I need to drain the all heat from the Earth's core. It serves two purposes really I can use all that power for my transmat. I could say I am being enviromentally friendly, but really it is a small planet and won't be missed when the transmat's feedback blows the planet in half." Emmett throws a towel over his shoulder. "Now I have to go and make sure your boy toy is too busy saving you and the beast minor to interfere with my plans. Fate is sometimes too cruel. If I had known he would be here I would have stayed far far away." Emmett points a his metal tube at the feet of Sarah's chair and then he rolls it right up against his devices and then the chair becomes stuck once again. "That should keep you from moving. Now when I leave I will activate the laser cell. If the invisible beam is broken, then kabloom! Little bits of Blondie all over the place. Ta Ta!" and Emmett heads toward the steps going to the roof.

"Psst"

"Whose there?"

"Sarah it's me"

"Chuck – you got to get out of here. There is a bomb set to an invisiab.."

"I know I know. Aww really is that the best he could come up with." She sees Chuck coming out of the closet holding another one of those weird devices. He presses a button and looks like he is scanning for bugs.

"Just as I thought" Chuck tells Sarah as he walks over to the fuse box and turns off the power to the cage. "Emmett is really not that bright since that last regeneration, hooking up everything to the same power grid. Turn off the grid and you turn off the bomb, the heat sucking from the earth's core device and his transmat. There, now they are useless." Chuck goes over to Sarah and using whatever he had in his hands releases her hands and feet.

Then after Sarah stands he leans down and kisses her.

"Chuck – Don't – stop Emmett"

"Right. Sorry, we do have other things to so, like now we really have to get out of here." He points his device at the fuse box and it explodes in a bunch of sparks and he grabs Sarah by the hand and heads to the closet.

"Oh Crap. Chuck why is there a British police call box in the closet?"

Sarah had not seen one since she had to go undercover as a British museum tour guide to capture a known art thief in London three years ago. The display was policing through the ages and more than one teenage boy offered to take her inside the 1950 police call box, sometimes even suggesting handcuffs.

She entered the box and stopped "Oh Crap, no way" and she went back out the doors, and walked completely around the police box.

When she came back around to the doors, Chuck reached out and pulled her inside then closed the doors "Yes I know it is bigger on the inside that the out side, Really, Yes really, now if you do not mind we have to go. I need to go over here and make sure that the Vogons will pass up by nicely and not decide to blow up the planet just because I said once in passing that I've heard better poetry."

Chuck runs around a round table filled with controls and a weird lighted column goes up and down and then flips switches, hit buttons and occasion uses something that looks like a tire pump.

"There that should do it. And Emmett has been caught in a time bubble he meant to trap me in as well. Perfect we can pick him up after I take you out to dinner! There is a great restaurant at the end of the universe." Chuck said with a big smile on his face. He turns to Sarah when the main door flies open and a small metal dogish looking thing wheels in. Attached to its leash he seems to be dragging in one snoring John Casey dressed in what looked kind of like an old world war one British military uniform. "Master, retrieval of Casey unit achieved. Scans indicate he will be unconscious for 18.314649 hours."

Chuck bends down "Good boy K-9. Go introduce your self to Sarah then please take Casey to the small guest room next to the theatre. Can you start playing his favourite movie "Broke back Mountain" in a loop. I want to make sure he won't miss a second of it and he will get to re-watch his favourite scenes. Try and find the 2090 3D interactive remake ok boy" Chuck is patting the dog on the head while he is talking to it and Sarah cannot help but smile as the 'ears and tail' wag when praised. K-9 then goes over to Sarah and a sniffing sound is made. "Identification stored. Good morning mistress. I am K-9. I am a good dog."

Sarah, having giving up any chance of clinging to sanity at this point, 'scratches' k-9 behind the ears. "Yes I hear that you are a very good boy, thank you for bringing Casey here."

"Affirmative mistress" and with another wag of the tail he exits out a side door with Casey in tow.

Chuck looks at Sarah "Soooo I suppose there is no chance I can ask you to forget this right?"

"Chuck what is going on here? How does Emmett know about me? What is this thing and did I just scratch a robot dog towing a loud snoring Casey behind the ears?"

Chuck breaks out in one of his famous Bartowski smiles, however it turns serious much too soon for Sarah's likening. "Sarah did you ever wonder why I am so good with computers, or why I seem to be the only person in the world that can take the intersect without going crazy?"

"I know you are different Chuck, special and not in a bad way like Casey usually means it."

"No Sarah it is more than that" Chuck goes over and reaches into the pocket of a trench coat draped over a far railing and pulls out a stethoscope. He hands the earpiece over to Sarah who takes it timidly and he puts the head on his chest. Sarah listens to his heart and then he moves it and she hears a second heartbeat.

"Oh Crap Chuck something is wrong with these"

"No Sarah. I come from a planet that actually no longer exists; my people are called Time Lords. I have worked on computers much more advanced, centuries ahead of current technology. My brain power and capacity is works differently than yours, so it can work with the intersect with out getting fried."

Sarah stares at Chuck as he gets down on one knee.

"Sarah those hearts beat for you and you alone. This ship can go anywhere in time or space. We can leave be together, see wonders and still be back in time for the next mission briefing with Beckman if you want. We can have a life and you can still be with the CIA. What do you say? A long vacation with romantic beaches, watching the suns set over a Red dwarf. I am offering you your career and the universe…"

Chuck does not get to say another word as Sarah notices a small red box coming out of Chuck's pocket; she grabs hold of his collar and starts kissing screaming "YES"

(RING RING)

Sarah jumps straight up in bed, breathing heavy and soaked in sweat. She reaches her phone and notices the picture on the screen.

"WALKER SECURE DARN IT!"

"Casey Secure, oh crap Walker bite my head off why don't you. Sorry did I interrupt you practicing your lap dancing?"

"Casey it is three forty in the morning, what the heck do you want?"

"Beckman wants a meeting in an hour. Something about the scientists claim we are going to be having a series of sudden earthquakes and she wants the moron somewhere out of the earthquake zone. I'm thinking about Australia. Company plane. We can even knock out Ellie and Awesome and let them sleep it off for a week. Since their wedding last month, I have no idea where they come up with all that energy."

"Fine I'll be at your place in an hour. Just don't scare the crap out of Chuck when you wake him again. He still has some sort of nightmare about you coming out of the closet wearing a trench coat. Hey can you pull up the info on Emmett and lets go over it again. OK"

Grunt #568 (Way too early for this crap) "Why Walker, something wrong"

"Just a feeling."

"Fine. Anything else while I'm at it?"

"Just one. The next time I agree to a 72 hour Doctor Who Marathon with Chuck and Morgan please find a national emergency somewhere!"

--

AN

Usual Disclaimers! I own nothing. NBC and others own Chuck. BBC owns most if not all the other references. I do it for fun not money.

Sorry I have been away, but as I am sure most everyone can relate, family gets in the way of truly serious writing (and no I could not even type that with a serious face)

No beta, so all mistakes are my own.

I am just going to proofread crappy day to post later today / tomorrow (depends on how busy I am at work).

Please review good or bad, I know this is not for everybody, and it's not to be taken serious.


	3. Casey, Casey, Casey

AN

So here I am sitting around with little to nothing to do except paperwork, and I say to no one in particular "Hey, I should finish the Casey's bad night sleep chapter I've been toying with."

No one answered "sure, sounds like a plan to me."

So while I was waiting to get a cat scan done to find the cause of my audio hallucinations, I finished this off.

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing of the Chuck universe. I make nothing and I am nobody is creating a Castle play set to go with the Team Bartowski action figures that he has yet to create.

--

Grunt #239 (What the heck hit me?)

John Casey, looks around. Still almost pitch black.

"_Well it's still better than the Buy More__.__"_

He was still chained to a wall. How many days has it been?

His waking ritual, doing a quick 'how am I check'. Today: multiple broken bones in both hands, left arm, ribs, both kneecaps and all toes. One eye seems swollen shut and there are scars everywhere. His right arm had been securely fastened to the wall and an IV has been inserted in. The tube disappears into the wall, but something is obviously flowing through it since it felt like ants crawling under his skin. Taking a deep breath, the smell of bbq ribs would make his mouth water, but his body is so dehydrated, he can't even spit anymore. At least he is not seeing the Bartowski-wearing-only-a-fig leaf hallucination chicken dancing up and down his nose again. _'oh crap, I don't think my foot is suppose to turn that far...'_

"Good Morning Colonel Casey."

GRUNT #452 (Not again….)

That distorted Donald Duck voice come blaring from nowhere again, coming with it those bright multicoloured strobe lights flashing in no particular pattern all over the room.

Grunt #653 (What no coffee?)

"You have survived torture that would have made most people break days ago. Bravo Colonel. Physical pain to every part of your body, a wide assortment of drugs, deprived of sleep, hot pokers, electrocution, water boarding, bamboo chutes under your finger and toe nails, ripping off band-aids really fast, 12 hours with a nearly blind dentist with a drill, 28 hours of "THE BEST OF JEFFSTER". watching 72 episodes of Dr. Phil with an IV of caffeine and your eyes taped open, 100 hours of "What not to wear", the destruction of your beloved Crown Vic and the tattoo of the I HATE REAGAN on your… private areas clearly seen every time you salute. Even the burning of the American flag with a picture of your mother with an apple pie did not cause you to break. I am impressed."

On the wall opposite Casey, images of all the torture that he suffered flashed up, ending in the image of a burning flag with a picture of mommie on top repeated again, like it did over and over again for hours before.

"It would help if you actually just gave yourself up now." Casey barley choked out.

"Well what do you know, Casey made a funny. Hmmmm, no I don't think so Colonel. But I do have some terrible news for you. Your partner and her boyfriend were found dead in their bed this morning, apparently a murder suicide according to the police. He killed her and then himself. Very sad really..."

The image of Sarah and Chuck holding each other close in his bed, a bottle of high grade contact poison clearly seen spread over the bed.

"Looking at your surveillance tapes, they were so busy entertaining themselves, that they never even realized you never returned from the gun show you were to attend. So if you were hoping that your partner would save you, not going to happen."

Grunt #123 (laugh) "Oh crap. Nobody that knows them would believe that the nerd would take her out, your bluffing."

"Sorry Colonel, The RING never bluffs. Now are you going to tell us what we want to know or do we stop playing nice?"

"There is no way you are getting anything out of me. I've had warlords bleed me from my liver. Do your worst!"

"Yes we did that too actually. Very well Colonel, I wish I could say it was nice knowing you; however I will say I am impressed. Now we were going to show you some of your surveillance video of those two, really they are quite flexible and eight times, impressive. However the INNER RING is impatient, so goodbye, Colonel Casey you will probably not survive the final torture. I do not believe that anyone has been able to stand more than 5 minutes. There is only one way to survive that horrible death. Tell us your secret quiche recipe!"

The lights go out. You could near a pin drop…then from nowhere….

"So Morgan, I hear Casey said if he was on a deserted island, he would bring a ham sandwich."

"Ham that is so amateurish, ham, no way, it would take at least a ham and cheese string sandwich to possibility even make it as a contender."

On the screen is an security feed of a hotel conference room, a close up of Chuck leaning in to give Casey a kiss is being played in v e r y s l o w m o t i o n.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Casey screams, and then he feels cold water hit his face.

Casey bolts up in his chair. Only to be knocked over when the headphone he is wearing become taunt and throws him off balance.

Sarah holding a now empty water bottle laughs so hard that she falls into the couch.

Looking around he is in his living room in front of his surveillance system. He glances at his hands arms, and a quick look down inside his sweatpants, everything seemed fine, except his face and shirt was wet.

"Oh Crap Casey, I was coming over to see Chuck when I heard you screaming, I came in I found you asleep having a nightmare. It seemed like the safest way to wake you up. But the look on your face and the "nooooo" just before I threw the water, oh crap, just too funny." And with that Sarah quickly went out the door before he could fully untangle himself from the long headphone cord.

Grunt #542 (What the…)

He removes the headphones and picks up the huge, and now empty vodka bottle. 'That's the last time I listen to those two buy morons after one of these."

--

OK so the cat scan said I am review deprived and the voice will go away when I get a ton of reviews so my over active brain will stop making things up… unless I am dreaming……

Oh crap, I'm working out a couple of bugs on my Crappy day.

Hope to have it up over the weekend


	4. Woodcomb, Ellie Woodcomb

Here we are with another bad night. This is getting to be a habit. This is a repost, I am not sure what happened the first time, but it was not what I planning to do, then I could not login to fix it.

Now I have made references to three much better stories by much better writers than my crap. My version of the "Who are You Challenge" (and yes I still have a story to stink up that great collection).

I have to give a huge thank you to jagged1 for taking the time to beta this for me.

Wow, there were many super points that I never thought about and my grammar always sucked. I was in awe when I saw the comments. So send all the good praise that way, and all the flames to me, since I tinkered with it afterward.

So on with the show!

--

"I'm sorry to have to be the one to break the news to you, but your husband is not who you think he is."

Ellie Woodcomb is sitting in a small chair in front of a large wooden desk in the small oval office. Staring at the woman sitting behind it in a large overstuffed chair, Ellie feels smaller than she can ever remember feeling.

"His full time job is not as a surgeon. We recruited him in college in order to get close to your family. You see, in reality he is a spy for the United States of America and your father, although you may think he is a nutbar, is actually a very important asset that keeps slipping though our fingers like a buttered baby."

Ellie stares silently at her husband as he rips off his scrubs revealing a tux underneath.

The person speaking was a blonde woman, dress in a tight military garb, General something or other. She had seen her somewhere before, but Ellie could not place it.

"While you might have lots of questions, I'm afraid that they really don't matter to me in the least, and any objections you might have, well just suck it up, princess." the general stated.

"That is why we have ordered your husband to remove your voice box while you slept last night and Crazy Glued your arms to that chair this morning. You see, you have become a liability to us. Agent Awesome is reluctant to seduce the forty or fifty women every week in order to get the required information from the enemy agents posing as an endless stream of hot models, especially after the incident at his bachelor party."

Ellie stiffened; now she remembered the bimbo.

"We have therefore decided that you must be modified so that Agent Awesome can perform to the level of awesomeness needed."

Ellie tried to speak, but there is only silence. She looks at the small box marked 'Ellie's voice' now on her lap.

The door opens and another blonde, looking exactly like the general, comes in and puts a tray with tea and cookies down on the desk and walks out. Beyond the door, there are several others, all looking exactly like the blonde, who seem to be waiting for something.

Looking at some papers on her desk, the general turns to her. "So what will occur will be the insertion of an on-off switch located behind your left ear, and a mute button by your right."

The general pours herself some tea. "However, due to budget cuts, we do not have the funding to modify your own voice box, so we had to go with an off the shelf one from Toys-R-Us. If anyone asks why you sound like .... Optimus Prime, we have automatically programmed the voice to say you have the flu. There will be 10 other pre assigned voice clips. If our budget increases, we will see about adding other phrases. Now, there is a note here about batteries... Are you sure that they go there?" She shows the note to Agent Awesome. Taking the note dramatically, he throws the paper down onto the desk without reading it.

With a super bright smile, he says "Indeed."

The general sighs. "It's a good thing you are so very pretty, Agent Awesome."

"Indeed!"

"Now Mrs Woodcomb, we think it wuld be prudent for you to be away from the hospital for, well forever, so what we have done is have a Mark 3 baby assigned to you. This baby will mean that you will become a stay at home mom. Now I know that this baby will not look anything like you. But it will look like your husband. So that will have to suffice for the moment, and allow Agent Awesome to begin his training as the next Agent Awesome."

There is a noise at the door and Sarah Walker enters the room. Her arms move up and down, and her foot comes up, kicking occasionally. She robotically walks through the door leaving a splintered mess. With a glazed look on her face, the heel of her shoe breaks and she falls over in a crash, arms and legs still moving as if she was walking forward.

"Ah, Agent Bartowski I see the modifications to your girlfriend have been a success. Thank you for retrieving the information from that sandwich girl. Good job. I hear she could not even remember her own name by the seventh hour. Now if you can be so kind as to take your sister for processing, that will be all."

Chuck enters dramatically wearing the same tux and holding a remote starts fiddling with the controls'

"Of course General Dudette Bombshell." Behind him was a very very pregnant Jill Roberts in a really huge tux and with a set of devil horns growing out of her head. "Chuckie, can Agent Awesome come back to your place with us, I need a full, complete check-up!"

"Sure, anything for the mother of my eight children, my new nephew, Morgan's twenty two children and the sister Ellie and I never knew we had!"

"Indeed!" and Agent Awesome strikes a new pose that causes the muscles in his arm to rip out of the tux. Jill, with a wide eye look, comes over and squeezes his arm. "Follow me, big boy." and they leave the room.

Sarah stops moving, and in a second gets up and with superhuman strength, she lifts the chair with Ellie and turns the chair to face her smiling bother. "No worries, sis, in a few hours you will be the perfect wife and sister. Didn't dad do such an awesome job on Sarah?"

"Indeed!" is heard from the hallway.

Suddenly, Chuck accidently drops the remote as he looks down. Ellie looks around and realizes that no one is wearing pants.

The general starts smiling from ear to ear. "I see Agent Casey is early for his debriefing,.Please send him in as you leave. The take-a-number machine is set up in the lobby; please do not shoot the others just to take their ticket to get ahead. There is more than enough Casey for everyone."

THUD!

Ellie finds herself on the floor beside her couch.

"OH CRAP OH CRAP OH CRAP OH CRAP OH CRAP!"

Ellie grabs her throat and runs her hands behind her ears. Finally relieved that no 'upgrades' have been made, she gets up and goes over to the phone lying beside the rented movies on the table. The Stepford Wives and the latest James bond.

"Hi Sarah."

"No, nothing is wrong."

"Well, it's silly really; you know those movies we rented yesterday for our 'Girls Night' last night? I had this crazy dream that Jill Roberts was back and she was pregnant and a spy. You smashed down the door, and Casey was a stud - oh,get this - Chuck and Devon were expert spies in seduction. Weird, huh? Sarah? Are you there? Sarah? Gosh you sound terrible, do you have a cold?"

A/N

Just my little homage to Malamoo's great "Chuck vs the Second Chance: and Wepdiggy parody of it. He's hoping that it will get them to update faster (hint hint)!

I had to throw in a reference to Wep's "Super Casey" as well, just because I want to hint at a chapter where Casey is Batman!

These references were used without permission, Wep or Moo's stuff, Any Chuck or BSG reference, the Sun, The Moon, Global Warming and the computer you are reading this on does not belong to me, and never will.


End file.
